I
I was all in and I had a full-time job and I had an
apartment and I had a car and I made payments
but I was a dungeon and I was stealing and reaching
out for help and my gut got me into a place and my first
day was psychotically welcoming and they always asked
are you ready to give up
and my new outlook on life as a whole and that was enough to begin
the process and I’m actually honest with myself
and others and if I could do it and the real world and my
eyes have been opened to the real world
and If I can do it honestly anyone can.
II
I felt a part of the group but it slowly got out of control
and training modules and my behavior changed
and nothing felt ok after that and I couldn’t function
and on vacation and it became real and I decided to
do and this whole spiral happened and I didn’t know
who I was and I used to have dreams and I’m ready and my
first day was scary and I still wanted to fight that feeling
and who wants to be and that day I was reserved
and I was greeted with love and compassion and I
think I’m in the right place and she challenged me
to the fullest and she always believed in me
and it actually works and now I’m invited to holiday
events and I’m a functioning member of the training module
and the social production of norms and I have a job at a pet place
and friends and it gave me so much more than that
and when I look in the mirror I’m so proud of me.
III
It became an every weekend thing and my life was over
and I realized I was so broke and my life was consumed
with getting and all of a sudden some kind of clarity
came over me and I was like ok Gun I don’t know what to
do and I’m going to get emotional right now and this was
my turning point and I told her I didn’t know what to do
and she said give me a couple of hours and we’re going
to get you help and they got me down here in three days
and I was so sick and guilt was just overflowing
and when we met they started working with me
and gave me the modules to cope and that I have to
take baby steps and those baby steps have been a blessing
and I was taught how to love myself again.
IV
There was no trust but when I walked in it was very cozy
and I was making a huge decision and they said I was brave
and for me it was very obviously life changing clearly
and I can’t even put it into words and there’s so many
opportunities and I can wake up and the future is finally off.