You are currently viewing BEACHWAY by John Ebersole

BEACHWAY by John Ebersole

 

 

I

I was all in and I had a full-time job and I had an

apartment and I had a car and I made payments

but I was a dungeon and I was stealing and reaching

out for help and my gut got me into a place and my first

day was psychotically welcoming and they always asked

are you ready to give up

and my new outlook on life as a whole and that was enough to begin

the process and I’m actually honest with myself

and others and if I could do it and the real world and my

eyes have been opened to the real world

and If I can do it honestly anyone can.

 

 

II

I felt a part of the group but it slowly got out of control

and training modules and my behavior changed

and nothing felt ok after that and I couldn’t function

and on vacation and it became real and I decided to

do and this whole spiral happened and I didn’t know

who I was and I used to have dreams and I’m ready and my

first day was scary and I still wanted to fight that feeling

and who wants to be and that day I was reserved

and I was greeted with love and compassion and I

think I’m in the right place and she challenged me

to the fullest and she always believed in me

and it actually works and now I’m invited to holiday

events and I’m a functioning member of the training module

and the social production of norms and I have a job at a pet place

and friends and it gave me so much more than that

and when I look in the mirror I’m so proud of me.

 

 

III

It became an every weekend thing and my life was over

and I realized I was so broke and my life was consumed

with getting and all of a sudden some kind of clarity

came over me and I was like ok Gun I don’t know what to

do and I’m going to get emotional right now and this was

my turning point and I told her I didn’t know what to do

and she said give me a couple of hours and we’re going

to get you help and they got me down here in three days

and I was so sick and guilt was just overflowing

and when we met they started working with me

and gave me the modules to cope and that I have to

take baby steps and those baby steps have been a blessing

and I was taught how to love myself again.

 

 

IV

There was no trust but when I walked in it was very cozy

and I was making a huge decision and they said I was brave

and for me it was very obviously life changing clearly

and I can’t even put it into words and there’s so many

opportunities and I can wake up and the future is finally off.