read Rachel Lilim’s GRACETONGUE here.

redmeat

they say a seraph has a certain flavor
one that brokers and fixers savor
and if you can bag me a seraph raw
i’ll release you from my jaw
DROP DROP DROP
a frame spent yearning is easier to bag
red dripping poured over a blackbrick flame
till rust marbles the bars
slam the door of the frozen locker
seasoned with cigars
the chains she scrawls on copper walls
slackened loose at the
ribeye wade in paint & marinade
prime in juice
sirloin muse in scar shorn rag
and meat-killed dreaming is easier to cook
NOW
i’ll release you from my jaw
my cold and bloodless toothless gnaw
my dry and pallid icy skin
flits in cycle set 2 spin
want me raw? want me raw?
hacked 2 pieces with a saw?
hacked 2 bits, cooked with frost
and hanging off a rusted hook

green snaps

a cord of raffia wire wraps
round and round the thighs
bisects the palm, blinds the eyes
fresh sprig, green snaps and sprouts
in my head
all in a bundle on the bed
i did only what i wanted
i did everything you said
sheaves of spindles, open frills
slick with viscous silver spills
tender gleanings, chopped and threshed:
aint it best to snap them fresh?
but i’m an acrid waste
lime and bitter to the taste
packed in flour, roughed & wrestled
crack a powder with a pestle
& just beat & beat & beat
& bitter bitter bitter
and sour
sour like a rotten fruit
and bitter at the root

blulights

so im in this bus
in a fuzzy blue seat
rolling over rain-glazed ruts
with white columns at my feet
with white columns loud and busy spanning morning’s muddy crawl
and the smell of custard creme
that woke me from my dream
bears my sickly dizzy body down the yellow granite hall
vvv vvv vvv
was it february
when i kissed a berry
and my lips were singing two more years
i was so
blulights when the days out
some can make u smile
& make u dance
in ur skurt, shed ur pants
vvv vvv vvv
in the blulights glow
u can venture, u can go
in that same bus from the morning
in the evening’s muck & snow
I can host, u can travel
heels crackling over gravel
and leave the key with me
i was so
REATARDED, fuck!!
rrr rrr rrr
they saw it in my sweet eyes
& it was
i i iiii
awful
it was fine
to the tongue like sandy brine
with a hint of cherry wine
& the fault was only mine
and making my way back i just
felt blu streetlights burn my skin
felt my head awash in brack my
stinging eyes in blazing pins
and i just
i think im done thinking abt it yea i think im im just over it
yeah i think i think – i think im kinda
yea im not thinking about it i
i mean i
dont wanna think abt that stuff i think im probably overthinking it
i just figured u should know a bit
yeah i dont need to think
i need a bf & a drink
and i think im overthinking it
n yea i think im over it

break room

oh you’re going to berlin next, nice

you must ride the subway as you listen to the passenger, you haven’t been to berlin until you do that,

and: push your head against the window!

can’t imagine the thrum of glass under your temple when he sings

I see the stars come out of the sky

little point to body crash if you can’t have some fun within the body

well the job is the point, but: no one said it had to be doom 24/7

you get to moonwalk!, jump off the rails!, slice a throat front to back!

so many ways to kill yourself on the job

so many ways to crash the body in question

In a vacant mind in the last days crawling through semi-functional myalgic abnormalities slowly rotting with sclerosis – seminiferous tubules hemorrhaging – malignant obstructions fermenting – and infected with diffuse traumatic embryogenics. Chronic myocardia deranged Diphyllobothrium hang from putrefying metastatic grinders. Meathooks embedded in stomach lining – analysis of abdominal emanation showing insidious segmental Edematous Ileopathia – rip gribbled impetiginous lesions into layers of pulsating cerebral slime. Survival beyond death. The liquefying organs of necrotic Condylarthra – lymphatic pathophysiologic processes developing – disgorge Stygmatodermuropyanephrosistic innards onto thrombocytopenic tumors. Vitiated neural cavities drip cystic effluvium – stench of dystrophic syncope – blenorrhagical chitlin – inflamed mucoviscidosis mechanisms – down the walls. Passing through webs of bilious phlegm – hosts to swarming Meningococcemic parasites – into a new organic chamber of excorciating dementia. At the center a twisted mass of supraliminal decay – a devastated sepulchre – a maggotized proliferation – suspended from clotted Bulbo-Rachidian fat extensions over necrotic cerebro-meningeal abscesses filled with burnt cyanotic phalanges. The hatchet justifies the means. Retroperitonial Sarcococcygeous endolapses are entombed within clogged arteriovenous complexes – slurry of diffuse necrotic staphylococcus – smouldering hookworm phenomenon – leaking ruptures of obstructed large intestines – beneath the adipose cenote of the corroded anterior plexus. Advancing into lyewashed cimmerian dungeons lined with viscous gestated scaffolds – in a state of large scale decomposition – infested with idiopathic arrhythmias – leading downwards towards occluded abyssal cavities within which organic Urticariothrocistic machines – exhumed from cesspools of contaminated formaldehyde – Dysmenorrheatic reactions of disconnected cranial psycho-enucleation – a goulashed auto-infection – perform rituals of hystological exorcism on trypanophobic Entomophthoromycota fungi incubated in carbonized sulfhemoglobin. Precisely eviscerated and submerged in a putrescine methanol solution. At the end of an excruciating tachycardic ventricle – katabasis into subarachnoid space of dripping cerebrospinal fluid – collapsed into cytoskeletal glucid oxidase – a vivisected facimille of your family home – grown from mesenchyme – wrapped in steroidal cartilidge scaffolding – suspended from dysplastic tendons in a putrescent lymphatic cavern – the pickled core of the cadaverous machine. Gammarotettix juveniles scurry from ependymal filtration ducts – climb through anastomostic meat windows – fall from sickly dampmolded furniture. Spilling through reeking doorways – exophthalmosistic living room – supra-axillary parafungal kitchen – coated with diffuse filtrated dura mater – up cadaveric ligament stairs opening onto disintegrating myeloid hallway. Ectoparasites clinging to lacerated tendons – open sores proliferating – inflamed keratin debridement – drip paragastric fluids into clotted vesticles. The carcinomic walls of the oxidized bedroom – your childhood bedroom – carry splattered words scorched in pungent fluid – just a few of which are:

…Lay Tubules Saw Full Structures Satisfying The Segmental Solution Conserved The Cells In Endometritis Of Fixation Ethanol Finishing Intestine Epidermolysis Of Fatal Still Orgy Infect The Venous Pneumo-Embolus Innards Involving The Scaled Slashes Of Ependymal Vena Bowel Of Thought Cadaveric Exhibition During Trunk Hemorrhages And Mater Vilipend Of Pulsating Grinder Decay Blood Existence Multicystic With Putrefaction Of Human Beheading Complex To Phrenetic Peritoneal Fibroma Separation Amongst Eviscerated Carrion Thaul Slicing Of Chronic Visible Tumour Human Limb Manual In Crevice Putrefaction Aspects For Ectopysm Of Torture Chronic Endoparasites Of Symmetric Decompositions Justifies Intravenous Neutropenia Analysis Organs Fetid Excreachollemical Attributes During Sarna The Ruptured Filtrates Mucoviscidosis Acts Twisted Fragments And Inspiration Devourment Liquids Viscose Diffuse Fragrant Cerebro-Vascular Widespread Acro Infinitive In The Ways Tract Of Suspended Embryo-Teratoma Erosion From Development Disgust Purulence Visible Without Sedations Colibacillosis Syndrome Fermenting Mind Cleaver Gastric Disintegration Hookworm In Retentive Congenitallly Characteristic Of The Frenzied Divine Driven For Enterological Obstetric Parts Of Defects Disassembling A Vile Mutual Recessive In Present Malodorous Abdominal Carvings Peculiar Sewing Abscess Supra-Axillary Precisely Of Tenderised Sores Among Paresthesias Emerging In The Cava The Obstruction Of Cruel Hydropsia Jaundice A Hemorrhage In Allowing Medico-Legal Reason Of Chronic Fracture Method Of Pathological Dura Choroid Infesting Of Beinous Endolapse Proclamation Of Infectious-Inflammatory Purpura Of Formaldehyde Slithered Series Early Exhume By Mechanisms Endarteriectomized Unanesthetized Of The Body In Finally A Disconnected Mass Of Meat Prolapsed Open Down Remaining Proliferative Sensible Seminiferous Extremities The Edematous Plexuses Of Septic Empathological Pachymeningitis Incubator Pleurodema Phlegm Up Bodily Degeneration Means Glucid Preservation In Cavity Of A Spasmobliterance Carbonized Of The Self Of The Butcher In Accepted Purulence Crepitating Into Analysis Lurid Gruesome Purpuric Beauty In Collapse General Putrefaction In Glaucoma Of Inferior Pedophilamorphia And Malignant Lymphatic Behaviour Liquefying As Bullosa Variegata Gestated Of Congenital Ulcerated Clot Malignant Necrotism Ecchymotic With Pleasures In Regurgitation Limbs Bowel Slime System Irresistible Cesspool Space Of Mass Embolism Patterns Organic Prostatic Disarray Of Abdominal Pulmonary Intrigue Post-Mortem Carnivorous Equal Exceeded From Careless Immersing In The Amyotrophic Adipose Annular Of The Gribbled Successive Renal Pyocystitis Demonstration Swarming The Humane Thrombocytopenic Perfection Corroded The Practices Of Excoriating The Secondary Idiopathic Corporal Headless Inside Of A Malignant Burnt Cranium Reticulo-Endothelial And The Sense Of Continual Disgorging Life With The Slash Ganglium Putridity Slaughter Pelvic Analysis Limb Of Insidious Flux Process Haemorph Decrepitance Of Eosinophilia In Light Dissected Suicide…

An overwhelming epiphanic nausea. Beneath you – beneath the ganglium – beneath the cilia – beneath the cenotaph of the sedated God – vast suffocating dark slithers over slick adipocere basin. Shreds of conjuctiva – decaying arachnoid walls – surround malignant lobotomized teratomas squirming with nectochaete hovering over a bottomless pit. Your pineal gland splits open. You fall in.

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at https://archiveofourown.org/works/33948013

HAIRCUT STREAM 

by earlymusicmaniac

Summary

A malathelemic self-insert GeorgeNotFound hardsmut prophecyfic revealed over a four-day-period before, during, and after George’s haircut livestream.

A. PRÆ-STREAMEM

ill be the one cutting his hair. with a brutal razor. he will be bald. i will be unforgiving. he will be in ropes too. in a uranian temple. he’ll be filthy with sigils and sore w/ angels names. i will cut into his scalpflesh as i shall into his hair. his hair will be an offering.

///

it will be so humiliating. all of you watching. i shall palm his naked head full of cuts. im so careless. i will leave him in the uranian temple. and take his hair into a basket. there will be a jackal waiting outside. and a red light will shine across the horizon. [walking into]

LOCATED TO OBTAIN @ THIRD WORLD MAGICKS | inside the castle

I

I was all in and I had a full-time job and I had an

apartment and I had a car and I made payments

but I was a dungeon and I was stealing and reaching

out for help and my gut got me into a place and my first

day was psychotically welcoming and they always asked

are you ready to give up

and my new outlook on life as a whole and that was enough to begin

the process and I’m actually honest with myself

and others and if I could do it and the real world and my

eyes have been opened to the real world

and If I can do it honestly anyone can.

I.

it is only right of her to want to be historically preserved if she cannot bear life much longer. she has this kind of internal logic that keeps her from doing it herself, maybe a holdover from sermons in youth that she could never subscribe to but were doomladen enough to judder in starts and stops when she ruminated on death, a locked groove wearing the needle out. if there’s a Heaven she doesn’t want to be precluded from bearing witness to it, and neither to a Hell really. discounting the eternal torture, there was a rugged aesthetic pleasure to every representation she’d seen of it that she’d hope to get even an inkling of in person, but then again that means having to discount eternal torture.

eternal torture isn’t quite how she describes life here—for one, it’s finite, can be ended at one’s own discretion—it’s just something that’s been sapped of its blisses, beyond explication, beyond inadequately surmising in a creative-writing-task suicide note. that’s the reason why if she goes in a manner that’s self-evident in its nature as a suicide, it’ll become a minor mystery to those who made their pockets full with her. they’ll dart across the scene amateur-sleuthlike, forcefeeding reasons and rationalisations that aren’t there into her relaxed-open mouth.

and also she doesn’t want to let the team down, the statistician’s morbid pastime that was girls like her. but then even if she escapes the categorisation of trans suicide as planned, by her excursions and their intended outcome she’ll be grouped into the datafield of trans murder. could she not be a suicide or murder victim and then be laid to rest peacefully without the baggage of representing an entire community’s susceptibility to such things? it’s the most mundane component of her anyway. most people don’t even notice, how she misses in retrospect when people noticed, as awful as it seemed at the time. when she could throw an open-hearted look at another trans girl and have that same look imparted back upon her, not have it evaded by the lookee who mistakes her for just another clocker.