FLASHLAND by MIKA

face flush to the screen until my eyes melt to the glass. ass pressed against the chair i begin to lose the sensations separating me & leather. i employ a macro to auto-click away 238 ad windows. tick tick tick mouse clicks fetter across my desk / HOT PRE-USED CUM CORPSES BURIED NEAR U / LEARN SECRET 2 SUMMON A DAEMON 2 INSTA-GIB YOU & FUCK THE REMAINS NOW / 10 OCCULT WAYS THE WORLD IS ENDING AS YOU WALLOW HERE etc.

at the desktop i start up FLASHLAND.exe. screen fills w/ white like a stun grenade just popped in my mouth. black fades in / splash logos zoom by / companies ive never heard of + Sierra / i get hard in anticipation. body already knows whats up by now. its the only time it gets to die. chipping my nail polish against the keyboard is like slathering my gums in coke, but i never seem to have enough & i never seem to need more than a taste to get sent off. the word FLASHLAND blares in cleansed white on the left. techno beats from the OST fucking each other in disharmony drops of blood leaking out my headphones–every time, oh well.

the main menu options are laid out like this:

NEW UNIT

USURP UNIT

NEW DRONEPHASE

JOIN DRONEPHASE

OPTIONS

SAFEWORD XXXXXX

i click on NEW UNIT.

i don’t know where i got FLASHLAND. a transient program spectre that appeared on my desktop one day & fuck it! i wanted to see pics of my family torn apart w/ hyperrealistic blood or whatever anyway. probably something made by someone bored on 4chan, i thought. i start it at every dusk (it disappears like a tek vampire during daylight) & make a new file. if i don’t… you ever get dope sick from a video game?

the FLASHLAND logo dissipates into metallic background & the animation of the flickering menu options trips over itself for a second as a formless vaguehuman flickers out of digital nothing into pure visual info. mass of the blackness between sewer grates. i am a mother. this is the womb i will shape this fucking stupid nothing into something & then at least temporarily murder myself just enough that me & my bastard kilobyte child are the same. there are a set of sliders oriented along the left side of the screen, in a neat column. getting to design me.

i wish there were more sliders. if i get to make their breasts large enough to snap their spine / if i get to make HER tall enough to turn me to a flat paste with their feet / i should be able to only let their be cursed with mild anxiety / i should be able to maximize HER self-esteem maybe. but really it has the only option that matters the false dichotomy. MALE or FEMALE, a third option necessary in our (falsely) neatly kept reality. i pick the latter. though i knew the only gender i really cared about was the position on the breast size slider. tits like sharpened lead, pyramids blurred. i spin the AVATAR (me) (this is myself i repeat on repeat) around using my mouse. trying to make myself sick with HER image. blur us together until i forget which one made who & i’m having my every movement dictated by a bitch clacking away on a keyboard. CUTE x5 fires like pistons in my head CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE. cuteness slopping out my fogged eyeballs like gristle off rotting pig. i hit enter / main menu again / click on NEW DRONEPHASE. dick stirs underneath my panties.

a box w/ a loading bar centered in it–100×400 height/width–appears at the bottom of the screen. my char’s / SHESHESHESHE / feet plant in smoothed over glass terrain of a monochrome desert. gray sand at my conjoined polygon toes. the soundtrack cuts out as soon as the game began proper, i alt-tab out w/ the game window flinging black all over my monitor like glitching bukkake, over & over again, ugh. my computer calms its shit / i start spitting the word FLASHLAND down a search engine’s throat until it chokes on overload / nothing. like the program was birthed directly out of the cunt in the back of my brain / my mind / stretched to uselessness as gigabyte ghosts squeezed out into my hardrive. this playthrough is different.

oh well! i alt-tab back into the game & make my screen freak out a little more. glass desert. gray, again. monoliths colored like snow coat lined oriented as twin parallels forward, creating a path 7 characters wide until mist sliced down mid-way thru a set of pillars. fog wall defined like razor edges. still, silent. blood still pouring out my ears like someone’s draining my skull & dripping onto my shirt. i begin walking towards the knife sharp fog wall. every prior session ended here / .exe would slice apart / disappear off the desktop to some murky folder buried within the recursive safeguards holding stashes of anime girls cut to pieces. i continue / curious to see what the doom at the end of this is all about.

i dont get more than 3 cells down the pathway until heat searing the edges of the satin in my pants threatens to burn a hole thru. i position HER against the corner of a pillar. clawing my fingers together to get as many of the movement keys pressed at once, i begin to grind HER crotch against the corner / the general area around HER groin sliding silently & sterilely / against flat polygons until i begin to tingle feeling HER skin as my skin scraping / binary given form. i don’t know when my hand slipped under my skirt, becoming my own out-of-body molestor, stroking my cock to the view on screen jittering like the monitor edges would crack under pressure. i don’t know when it went all fever pitch & i coated the edges of my skirt. my character gave in too, falling into distinct pieces, dismembered against the pillar corner / arms / legs / head / heart / bouncing as giblets across the wasteland. my dick was all formless slime clinging against my thigh like a blood splatter. main menu:

NEW UNIT

JOIN DRONEPHASE

let my family be slaughtered. i want to cum again. i want HER at all costs. force feed me their blood for all i care. moving HER forward i reach a facsimile of a farmhouse on the right, a break in the pillar forest / a museum exhibit someone pretends to live in. windows glossed over w/ deeply held textures. i hit the faded E key as i approach the door LOADING…

no furniture / no lights but lit like a hospital / hallways held together by amateur code, thirsty to collapse HER into lost save file. thought it looked vaguely like my house / realized that’s fucking stupid. the kitchen almost like a stock photo of a 50s nuclear family kitchen except none of the cupboards open, theres no table theres no fridge just an inoperable sink / no breadwinner man bleeding righteous terror. the bathroom won’t open, nor the basement. a sound clip of a dog barking (0:09 seconds) loops continuously / muffled spree murder emanating beneath the 5D / from outside the house. i keep forgetting what the inside of my room looks like. the blood keeps coming out my ears / i should have bled out by now / i keep playing. the periphery around my monitors begins to collapse down to the bluelight.

a scene: master bedroom. two discrete masses of triangles / fuck! / look at my parents. poorly rendered dummies flesh faces strapped on with digi-staples / murky copies of the Mother the Father / slathered deep blood/bloodsheets001a / fake guts strewn on the bed. so hot! i feel HER shiver… sick with HER image… i move my hand down, i feel HER / MY sharply edged pussy shaped diamond / hand coated in wetness devoid physics, stuck to the featureless mound. massacre background / dog howl sound clip (0:09) / covering up ecstatic death shrieks outside my headphones. FLASHLAND’s fangs sufficiently fed / become anti-human / feeling ass to leather turn chest to air / pry my eyes away from the monitor they’ll sheer apart / viscera vision. my arms come up, hugging the screen tightly / heat on my cheeks / melt holes in me, please.

liquid crystal fence torn down. i become ephemera / thigh fat a puddle now inside black sun shaped as cuboid. fingers can’t separate / cupping the lead pyramids on my chest. HER cursed to ME, ME blessed as HER. standing at the foot of the bed, butchered parents all the same. the room dark now, lit only by TV glows. the bits of brain / intestines glisten like news footage. my crotch is still. you can’t put the brains back in. the program begins to evaporate, a tek vampire! yellow sun crests over magenta sky. data corrupting at edges of flesh geometric.

SAFEWORD XXXXXX

FLASHLAND