You are currently viewing Meditations for Online by Dulce Jay

Meditations for Online by Dulce Jay

  1. The increasing incoherence of reality justifies seemingly any form of escapism.
  2. You boil yourself down to a few notable signifiers.
  3. Pornographic fantasies datamosh and interpolate with your suicide plans.
  4. When I close my eyes, the pixels are burnt into my retina, blazing like fierce green-blue suns. A mind colonised with these data packets.
  5. On a forum, I once saw someone say in an argument “you can’t criticise me, you literally eat your own shit” to which the person they were arguing with responded “that isn’t true, I only eat beautiful women’s shit”. While beauty is subjective, I can confirm that he does in fact eat women’s shit.
  6. Sometimes I think about finding the Facebook headquarters and walking in with a suicide vest strapped to my body.
  7. I’m worried the internet has stolen all of my memories. Or maybe prevented me from making them in the first place.
  8. Impact font meme posted 4:26 AM August 3rd,2015 – Image: a smiling anime girl. Upper text: PLEASE HE. Bottom text: PLEASE HELP ME.
  9. Beheading videos have numbed my sense of self.
  10. There are numerous places around the internet where men gather to discuss autofellatio. Many of the posts on these forums involve selfsuck-related injuries. These injuries don’t discourage them, however.
  11. I talk about myself constantly, but I have no idea who I am.
  12. Last post – June 24, 2018: “i think ive forgotten how to love”.
  13. Quiet and stupid. I’m trying to get your attention by posting vaguely about things I think you might like.
  14. The sound of clicking is going to drive me insane. It’s all I hear for days on end. I can’t fucking deal with this.
  15. “I used to troll 9/11 truther chatrooms for shits and giggles. now Im a holocaust revisionist and reading Siege lmao”.
  16. Online began as experimental military technology. You really think anything has changed?
  17. Sometimes I send pictures of my cock to men on Grindr just because their bio makes them sound like they could be cute. In all likelihood if I saw what these faggots actually look like, I’d be disgusted, in myself more than anything else.
  18. Space and time no longer exist. I’m terrified by this immediacy.
  19.                                  acted as an administrator on the Facebook page ‘                      ’, which had a following of 6,688 people. On Monday                           posted a selfie to the page stating ‘This may be my final post, they’re coming for me and I have done something very very terrible…I am sorry.’ Around the same time,                             had been posting images to his Instagram account @                  that documented him travelling to 17-year-old                   ‘s home and allegedly slitting her neck”.
  20. The internet is an unbelievably loud place.
  21. “Honestly dude, I spent a lot of time making that Mohammed Rajab Wali groyper”.
  22. Eric Harris Doom WAD.
  23. Website design is sigil creation.
  25. We all congregate in the group chat to discuss the gore videos that have made us afraid to go outside.
  26. “I’m so glad I swiped right on you”.
  27. I try to meticulously archive everything I find. An unpopular attitude at this point, since permeance is the enemy of all that the corporatized internet stands for.
  28. This Is Not A Meme It Is A Cry For Help.
  30. It is becoming increasingly easy to believe that the internet is entirely depopulated and that I am the only one here, just talking to bots.
  31.                         had a thirst and online entities cultivated that thirst. Under the influence of the Crowd Mentality referred to as “Level 121,” he was compelled to unleash the dogs of war. Gunfire and death where the orgasmic conclusion to the abuse that was life as                                                       had a thirst to force-fuck fear into the world that had raped his mind and soul. You may not respect what                                     did, but you have to respect that he was willing to lay it all on the line for fame”.
  32. Something must be written that is immanent to the internet. That takes the internet on its own terms, without acting as if it is a mere inferior replica of irl. This work, if written, will be the defining work of literature of our age.
  33. Don’t you know binary and hexadecimal are just advanced gematria?
  34. I’m going to make a Twitch channel and slash my fucking wrists on stream, just to see if I can make a dent in Jeff Bezos’ profits.
  35. “Why am I doing this? Because            is my passion, my hobby and my social life. I love him and I love archiving his posts. Nothing can top the feel, the incredible happiness, which I get when I see him post. That feeling of sliding a post of his into the collage, when it fits perfectly, its like playing Tetris but instead of blocks, I have funny, intelligent, wisdom filled and witty posts”.
  36. When you do it, who’re u going to send yr note to?
  37. The cold blue glow of my laptop feels like plutonium radiating through my eyeballs.
  38. “yea she posts about killing a bunch of people at her work all the time lol shes funny as fuck”.
  39. There are so many evil people here, you can’t imagine what the janitors have to see every day.
  40. Your thoughts are suffering from generation loss.
  41. “Even though we’re miles apart a computer screen connects our hearts”.
  42. I’m so fucking bitter and cruel because I’ve spent so long on here. It’s not something to be proud of, contrary to what a lot of others who inhabit the same corner of online to me think.
  43. “i am lonely will anyone speak to me”.
  44. There’s a video I’ve heard about, from multiple different websites, of a young boy being torn apart by a donkey. While the donkey viciously rips apart this kid, a group of hunched men stand around him in a circle. According to one account I read, they’re all jerking off. I don’t really want to see the video. I’ve seen enough of that shit + my brain is warped and poisoned enough already, I don’t need to be trying to chase down this one as well. Still, I do think about it sometimes. In my fantasy, the old men wear black cloaks with white sigils painted on them in a seeming parody of Eastern Orthodox schemamonk vestments, and the donkey screeches in an unbearably piercing tone while attacking the boy. The boy, though his mouth contorts into a scream, emits no sound, as if on mute. All there is the crazed braying of the donkey “YE-A” and the scuffing of the desert sand as the boy writhes and flesh is torn away from bone.
  45. This amount of information is unbearable.
  46. There’s so many freaks here I’m barely even notable.
  47. Algorithmically generated identities are becoming increasingly popular. Social existences created by machines.
  48. Prodromal schizophrenic symptoms increase rapidly because online encourages one to find connections where there is none. Combined with the effects that non-stop digital surveillance has on the human psyche, it is easy to see that psychosis is embedded into the very nature of the internet.
  49. “‘GOOGLE USS LIBERTY’ was spammed in the chat, along with racial slurs and a photo of a man stretching his anus open”.
  50. Never forget: This Is All To Generate Profit.